Ah ma

My mama called me last Saturday. I feel weird when I saw her handphone number. My mama seldom call me. Call me is always my papa's job...Well..I know you guys feel weird because it's always mother's job to call their son or daughter...Anyway, it's not the point...My mama told me that my ah ma passed away last friday and her funeral will be on this Wednesday...I heard my mama's sad voice although she is trying to hide it...Although this week is study week, my mama tell me I no need to go back..I know she don't want this incident to affect me and also tiring me by traveling such a long journey to go back to my hometown...I don't know how to describe my feeling when I heard of this news..I feel sad at the moment but I don't cry...It's like I am so cold-blooded...I wanted to say I am not cold-blooded...I still have the feeling and I feel sad!!! It's my ah ma....and she is passed away now...I really feel sad whenever thinking of how good she treat my siblings and I. My mama always say that ah ma dotes my siblings and I the most among so many grandchild...yes...I feel it...I can tell from her actions..In fact, I am not very close with my ah ma and we seldom talk because I am not very good in the language but it's really sad to know she leave us forever..This is the first time I feel the sadness of losing kin...From this incident, I have learnt to appreciate the time when being with someone because you'll never know when would be the last time you see them..Now, I can't even attend her funeral..I don't know I have to miss how many more important family days just because I am studying at Kampar(haiz..just forget about it...useless to regret upon it anymore)..The last time I saw my ah ma is during Chinese New Year.Although she leave us forever, her image will stay in my heart forever..I don't have her photo but I can remember her well...Her style is totally different from my paternal grandma...my paternal grandma is like success businesswoman look, a strong woman...My ah ma symbolic a typical beautiful woman..She is old but I know she must be a very beautiful lady when she was young......I can tell from her small face,tiny mouth,thin body, gentle voice and fair skin...I always think that my mother and my maternal cousins' beauty is inherited from her(yes..I am the exception@@) Anyway,I would never forget how good she treat us when the time she is staying in my house to take care of my siblings and I. Although she is maternal grandma but i still called her as ah ma...many of my paternal relatives ask me to called her 外婆...because ah ma sounds like my father's mother...but it's ok to me and my ah ma don't mind it also...so I insists to called her ah ma...It's sad to know no chance to call her ah ma anymore...Rest in peace, ah ma...