Everthing will be fine

Miss you makes me feel bad, love you makes me feel even worse. Haiz. I shall control my feeling. I shall hide my feeling so no one gonna know about it so everything would be fine. Don't say I am emo..I am not emo now. I just couldn't express my true feeling properly...I don't need a listener...Noone could understand. I will hide it in my heart...so everything will be fine...the most important is everything will be fine.

@@

已经觉得很累很累，眼皮也很重很重。但不懂为什么一点睡意也没有。跟朋友复习了整天才发现原来还有很多很多的东西还没读完。我们的时间必须排到很满才能在考前读完。刚才才发现原来gpa 3.92的人读书是用怎样的方法，真的应该好好学起来。如果可以，很希望今晚就这样读下去。才发现原来我有多害怕回到房间，害怕一个人，更怕又想起那些问题。学业问题可以问人，那感情问题可以问谁？性格不合是因为性格太像还是太不一样？因为性格不合而吵架该如何解决？能解决吗？解决了就能保证下次不会再吵吗？为什么有些人就是不愿妥协还要指责别人要引起争执？难道对于你重视的人就不能宽容点吗？难道你有试着去了解我要什么吗？总有一天，我要把这些问题弄清楚。如果我有好成绩，没有好感情，我还是一个失败的人。就像lecturer告诉我们不但成绩要好，也应该活跃于课外活动。一个成功的人，一个完美的人，不是你在某方面好而已。应该是在每一方面都取得平衡的人或每一方面很好的人。我相信我一定能，才不要做书呆子！！！

趣味測試看透你三生三世

The first time that I think facebook test is quite accurate..^^
The result are shown as below:
你在前世有過這樣的經歷：前世的你是一個單純而浪漫的人，你不大喜歡異性們的追求，你把他/她們視為一幫無聊的人，你有你自己喜歡的生活方式，你不希望別人打亂你的步調。正因為這樣，你的憂鬱氣息就一直伴隨著你到了今世，於是，今世的你註定要繼續做一個孤獨的人。*今世的你:今世的你是一個感情特別豐富的人。你有著強烈的責任心和上進心，這樣的你從不願受到任何人的管制和約束。你是一個溫文而雅，但有一點點內向的人，你不大會在自己喜歡的人面前表達自己的感情，所以，這樣的你還有一點點懷舊的情結呢！在交友和戀愛上你還十分傳統正派喲！你喜歡天長地久的感情模式，細心的你特別矜持，又很注重心靈...上的交流，所以那些粗枝大葉的人往往都經不起考驗咯！你的愛情攻勢是小火煨湯型的喲！*你的缺點:你比較缺乏約束，有事沒事都愛板著一張苦瓜臉，這樣好象有點未老先衰喲！你總是採取過於迂迴的表達方式宣泄自己的情感。

做义工

十一月二十三日，不懂做么，我竟然参加了utar做义工的活动。在完全不知情下，就贸贸然的参加，根本都不知会去哪里或做什么。我想我一定是疯了。当天早上集合才知道要去Tambun的Pamelo Farm。到了Pamelo Farm 才知道要帮忙园主捡在地上的plastic bag。 别以为是普通的plastic bag 哦。Plastic bag 里有烂掉的柚子，我们必需把在plastic bag 里烂掉的柚子倒在地上，因为那可以充当肥料。进到园里时，真的是显掉！里面的味道，真的受不了。是一种发酵加臭酸的味道，里面也有很多苍蝇还有很多鸡粪。。哎！真是自找麻烦。。结果还是硬着头皮捡“垃圾”。完成后， 园主切水果招待我们。但是，我一个也没吃。嗅了那种味道，就算是三珍海味在我面前，都会没胃口。更倒霉的事还在后头呢！当我们要回学校时，巴士竟然有问题，不能启动。结果，我们必须推把士。就在我们把巴士推前推后好几回后，终于能启动了。无言吧？不过呢，这个活动真的给了我不同的体验，也认识了新的朋友。负责人说，下次也许会举办一个到Tambun教英语的活动，因为当地人想把Tambun发展成旅游胜地，他们想掌握一些较基本的英文。其实，我还蛮有兴趣的。但如果必须在那种环境生活，我必需承认我会受不了。虽然，做义工不是很愉快，但它给我的不单是不同的体验，它的意义也真的很深，没有亲身经历是感受不到的。因此，我也许还会参加下次的活动。

Disease

I've already decided not to fight for anything over it....it's only a waste of time....the people there are so cheap...can't even speak proper english...their looks are so disgusting...their style is so old-fashioned....yeah...it's all negative comments that i can give to them..i feel so priviledge when i stay among them...i am so good compare to them...I am just so excellent...well, I should say they are not fit to compare with me...cooperate with them makes me feel embarass because others might think that I am as cheap as them..or as dumb as them...I should stay away from them..they are just like disease or common flu...I scare that if I did not stay away from them..I will get infected too...I don't wanna be like them....if one day I become same as them..I would rather commit suicide. You'll never meet someone who are so disgusting like them...It's true!!!

Sad or happy?

One more day to go..lol..in dilemma now..not dilemma also..because i have no choice..i am so sad because have to leave my home and go back to kampar on Sunday...haiz...I really hate that place..I don't know why I will choose to study at Kampar..Haiz..I think I must be insane at that time. Haiz..when the time get nearer and nearer for me to go back Kampar..I really feel xxx (haiz...i dunno what's the feeling too...feel like don't wanna go back but I have no choice) In the other hand, I feel happy for going back soon also..because staying at Muar doing nothing will make me bored to death...Keep online until I feel like vomitting ==''. I think the value of my life is keep improving myself by gainning as much knowledge as I can currently..Since ths is the only value for me to exist in this world currently so this is also one of the reason that makes me won't feel so sad for going back to the place that I hate so much.Obviously,this is the main reason for me to go to the place also..Of course, I can see my friends again..I thought I won't miss them as if have to be apart with them last time. Now, I have to admit that I miss them...hehe...miss the days we go to classes together and many more..hehe..Lastly,I miss someone so much.....I am not gonna describe this..Don't feel like to share this with anyone too....lol...Gonna celebrate my grandmother's birthday with my relatives tomorrow.....Seriously, I don't really like this kind of event...They are good but really makes me feel uneasy when facing so much people==''.....Btw, I should happy and appreciate that we have the chance to gather with each other...^^

Honey Lime

Gather with friends at hometown these few days..There is so many new cafe in Muar as if they no need capital to set up the business ..lol...Although I gather with different frinds at different cafe, the only thing that never change is I order the same beverage which is peach tea..haha..Don't ask me why..May be I get used to the taste already. Hehe..Meet up a friend at Little Cafe yesterday. This is the first time I go there. Too bad no peach tea there so I ordered honey lime juice..It is better than peach tea..lol...In conclusion, I think I should try out new things more often. I'll never know the result if I never give it a try, right?



P/S: Little Cafe not bad..but I don't know why there is so many mosquitoes in the aircon room..hehe..

Final exam result!!!

Checked my final exam result ady..GPA only 3.++....it's not as good as what I expected..Gotta concentrate more on study for coming semester....Must improve the result!!!!

Ah ma

My mama called me last Saturday. I feel weird when I saw her handphone number. My mama seldom call me. Call me is always my papa's job...Well..I know you guys feel weird because it's always mother's job to call their son or daughter...Anyway, it's not the point...My mama told me that my ah ma passed away last friday and her funeral will be on this Wednesday...I heard my mama's sad voice although she is trying to hide it...Although this week is study week, my mama tell me I no need to go back..I know she don't want this incident to affect me and also tiring me by traveling such a long journey to go back to my hometown...I don't know how to describe my feeling when I heard of this news..I feel sad at the moment but I don't cry...It's like I am so cold-blooded...I wanted to say I am not cold-blooded...I still have the feeling and I feel sad!!! It's my ah ma....and she is passed away now...I really feel sad whenever thinking of how good she treat my siblings and I. My mama always say that ah ma dotes my siblings and I the most among so many grandchild...yes...I feel it...I can tell from her actions..In fact, I am not very close with my ah ma and we seldom talk because I am not very good in the language but it's really sad to know she leave us forever..This is the first time I feel the sadness of losing kin...From this incident, I have learnt to appreciate the time when being with someone because you'll never know when would be the last time you see them..Now, I can't even attend her funeral..I don't know I have to miss how many more important family days just because I am studying at Kampar(haiz..just forget about it...useless to regret upon it anymore)..The last time I saw my ah ma is during Chinese New Year.Although she leave us forever, her image will stay in my heart forever..I don't have her photo but I can remember her well...Her style is totally different from my paternal grandma...my paternal grandma is like success businesswoman look, a strong woman...My ah ma symbolic a typical beautiful woman..She is old but I know she must be a very beautiful lady when she was young......I can tell from her small face,tiny mouth,thin body, gentle voice and fair skin...I always think that my mother and my maternal cousins' beauty is inherited from her(yes..I am the exception@@) Anyway,I would never forget how good she treat us when the time she is staying in my house to take care of my siblings and I. Although she is maternal grandma but i still called her as ah ma...many of my paternal relatives ask me to called her 外婆...because ah ma sounds like my father's mother...but it's ok to me and my ah ma don't mind it also...so I insists to called her ah ma...It's sad to know no chance to call her ah ma anymore...Rest in peace, ah ma...

我真的没事

对于这件事，说不再在乎，其实有点勉强。是的，我当然在乎，但至少不会在乎到非常严重的程度。顶多只是让我有点不开心罢了。其实，仔细想想过后，其实这样的结局还蛮好的。。呃。。也许连天都觉得不应该大材小用，把我放在这样的位置吧！既然连天都阻止了事情往不利于我的情况发展，我想我也不应该继续执著什么，对吧？事实上，没了这样东西，我相信命运中还是会安排另一样更好，更适合我的东西给我，所以我更加没资格去埋怨什么吧？毕竟，我不是没有努力过，努力付出了，但结果不是我想要的，因此我更加相信这会是命运给我最好的安排，下次我拥有的一定会是最好且令人羡慕的。。所以我更加不能放弃！我想我会是属于能做大事的类型，就因为这样，我有的是比别人更大的胸襟来承受更大的失败，比别人有更深一层的智慧。。。眼光也应该要比别人看得更远，更透彻。。。回头想想，这件事不过是我生命中的一小波折而已，比起其它大浪，这不过是朵小小浪花，冲击力也不过如此。所以，朋友，谢谢你们的关心，不要自责也不要担心，因为我真的没事。。。

Just be yourself!

Haiz.....feel so tired..In fact, I didn't do anything except attended one tutorial class just now...sweat...Haiz....when I sit at cafeteria and in charge of the JCC recruitment drive that day..I feel so tiny when I saw so many people in front of me..I feel like wanna be somebody so everyone can pay attention on me...I don't wanna be nobody...Weird...Why most of the people wanna be somebody? Why don't I proud of who I am? Isn't I am so bad till me myself don't want to be the real myself? If I myself cannot recognise the importance of my existence in this world...Anyone else gonna do it? sometimes its good when people don't recognise you...so you don't have to feel stressed upon how people judge you...You have the freedom to do anything without worrying about how people will look at you..Those famous people cannot really do whatever they like because they care...they care about their image..how people look at them..I wonder why don't I enjoy the freedom to do anything I like since I am not famous and I won't be gossip by others..After all, I understood many things from it...Even you are just a normal person, you still can make your life different..you still can have a meaningful life...The most important is you are happy with your life.....and people happy with what you bring into their life and how you colour their life...Isn't this is how 'life' looks like? Thus,I should proud of who I am...I should proud of my identity that given by God.. I wanna be myself!!!I wanna be the one who truly understand the life!!

Uni life

I know my current state isn't what I expected....I know I am still not the one I expected..Everything is not as perfect as what I expected but I really appreciate everything in my life..I am satisfy with all the things that I have..I have to thank God for giving me all these so I can move forward to a better life...to be a better me.I strongly believe that everything is predestined but we can choose to change it..as long as we want it to be different...Everything that we born with couldn't be change but we can change our future by what we have..I am not gonna be defeated by obstacles....I am not gonna be defeated by reality..I am not that intelligent but I have alternative to get good result...I am not rich but I still can be rich in future..as long as I want it to be what I expected..There is so many friends around me...I shouldn't leave my University life a blank page.. I should enjoy University life with them..Many people say it's hard to get true friend in University..I am so lucky...God send so many friends to me in my University life. It's hard for me to get through the University life which possibly could be the hardest time in my life without friends. Friends, I admit I need their freindship...their help...need them to be my audience..I won't forget how good they treat me...how they accept me for who I am..I sincerely appreciate it...Year one sem one gonna end soon..We all really worry that we won't be in the same class anymore...We can choose the timetable for lecture class and tutorial class from next sem onwards....Anyway,I think our frindship wont fade away so easily eventhough we are not in the same class anymore but I really hope we still can be in the same class.... Luckily, we all cherish the time when we are together so there won't be any regrets..

Life

Haha..Finally, the last midterm paper QT 2 has finished yesterday...haha...happy that midterm over already....quite sad also because Final exam getting nearer and nearer...I heard my friend said the Final exam timetable release already but I am not going to see it 1st...haha..I think you know what am I thinking right? lol...Something weird happens recently... QT has becomes the easiest subject to me!!! Weird changes right? As you know, my maths poor like hell. It is impossible for me to say "QT is the most easiest subject". Oh, yes..we get microecons midterm 2 result already...glad to know it's better than midterm 1 but sad to know it's not as good as what I expected.

Jo An has been transfered to another college last week. She gives up Financial Economics in Utar and choose Law in other college. May be she make the right choice. She weak in maths and other business subjects but her english really excellent.....Glad that she can choose what she really want but sad to know that I can't learn english from her anymore..haha...Anyway, all the best to you, Jo An!

May be this is what we called life. Always full of surprise and disappointment..

My friends & Me

Don't know how many days did not update my blog already..erm...may be really nothing to write...since i have nothing to say, I would like to share some picture with you all..haha...it's my first presentation this semester and it is also the first presentation of FE TG 1...haha..although we don't know the marks yet but we are quite satify with it...the most happy is my classmate say my performance is the best among my group members..haha



group members: sinyee, shuehlih, jessica, yeehong, and me..nice to be with them...

lol...this is our "good" leader...

Enthusiastic

Today is the end of the month again. When I look at my previous posts just now, I realize that I have been go through so many things these few months. It makes me think my life is not really that "empty". I know I have changed a lot.Er..I think I should say improved but not changed. I think the biggest changes or improvement is I am not that pessimistic anymore. oh....I still don't know the purpose of my life or what I wanna be in future. I don't even know what I want for tomorrow. I think the only thing that I must do now is keep improving myself to be better. I should have better attitude, better result and so on...I could have the chance to make choice
if only I am better than others. I wanna make decisions for myself and not wait for others to judge me and then put me at the place which is not suitable for me.Well, to me, one can have a good life if only he/she have the right to choose but not manipulate by others. Now, do you get what I mean? Of course, I put my best attitude forward. I am looking forward for every tomorrow. I hope you guys do that too!

You raise me up... To more than I can be

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

It's all i wanna say to you...

Starting this post is a bit hard for me now..Er...Life has been smooth for me recently now..er..really don't know how to express the feeling now...may be the following sentences can express it more accurately..haha.

believing success, dishonor the obstacles,
believing power, dishonor the failure,

having a dream, is like having a pair of wings,
having a hope, is like having the whole world's blessing.

dreaming of succession, is not an hallucination, it is the wings that brings you to the destination.

well...may be will express it better in more logical way next time..haha

你的选择是什么？

上帝把两群羊放在草原上，一群在东，一群在西。上帝还给羊群找了两种天敌，一种是狮子，一种是狼。上帝对羊群说:“如果你们要狼，就给一只，任它随意咬你们。如果你们要狮子，就给两头，你们可以在两头狮子中任选一头，还可以随时更换。”

　　这道题的问题就是：如果你也在羊群中，你是选狼还是选狮子？

　　很容易做出选择吧？好吧，记住你的选择，接着往下看。

　　东边那群羊想,狮子比狼凶猛得多,还是要狼吧。于是,它们就要了一只狼。西边那群羊想，狮子虽然比狼凶猛得多，但我们有选择权，还是要狮子吧。于是，它们就要了两头狮子。

　　那只狼进了东边的羊群后，就开始吃羊。狼身体小，食量也小，一只羊够它吃几天了。这样羊群几天才被追杀一次。西边那群羊挑选了一头狮子，另一头则留在上帝那里。这头狮子进入羊群后,也开始吃羊。狮子不但比狼凶猛，而且食量惊人，每天都要吃一只羊。这样羊群就天天都要被追杀，惊恐万状。羊群赶紧请上帝换一头狮子。不料，上帝保管的那头狮子一直没有吃东西，正饥饿难耐,它扑进羊群，比前面那头狮子咬得更疯狂。羊群一天到晚只是逃命，连草都快吃不成了。

　　东边的羊群庆幸自己选对了天敌，又嘲笑西边的羊群没有眼光。西边的羊群非常后悔，向上帝大倒苦水,要求更换天敌，改要一只狼。上帝说：“天敌一旦确定，就不能更改,必须世代相随,你们唯一的权利是在两头狮子中选择。”

　　西边的羊群只好把两头狮子不断更换。可两头狮子同样凶残，换哪一头都比东边的羊群悲惨得多，它们索性不换了,让一头狮子吃得膘肥体壮,另一头狮子则饿得精瘦。眼看那头瘦狮子快要饿死了,羊群才请上帝换一头。

　　这头瘦狮子经过长时间的饥饿后,慢慢悟出了一个道理:自己虽然凶猛异常,一百只羊都不是对手,可是自己的命运是操纵在羊群手里的。羊群随时可以把自己送回上帝那里,让自己饱受饥饿的煎熬,甚至有可能饿死。想通这个道理后,瘦狮子就对羊群特别客气,只吃死羊和病羊,凡是健康的羊它都不吃了。羊群喜出望外,有几只小羊提议干脆固定要瘦狮子,不要那头肥狮子了。一只老公羊提醒说:“瘦狮子是怕我们送它回上帝那里挨饿,才对我们这么好。万一肥狮子饿死了,我们没有了选择的余地,瘦狮子很快就会恢复凶残的本性。”羊群觉得老羊说得有理,为了不让另一头狮子饿死,它们赶紧把它换回来。

　　原先膘肥体壮的那头狮子,已经饿得只剩下皮包骨头了,并且也懂得了自己的命运是操纵在羊群手里的道理。为了能在草原上待久一点,它竟百般讨好起羊群来。为羊群寻找水源和草场，甚至为了保护羊群不被前来骚扰东边的那头狼吃掉，去恐吓威胁殴打东边的狼。而那头被送交给上帝的狮子,则难过得流下了眼泪。

　　西边的羊群在经历了重重磨难后,终于过上了自由自在的生活。东边的那群羊的处境却越来越悲惨了,那只狼因为没有竞争对手,羊群又无法更换它,它就胡作非为,每天都要咬死几十只羊,这只狼早已不吃羊肉了,它只喝羊心里的血。它还不准羊叫,哪只叫就立刻咬死哪只。更可恨的是，那匹狼为了不让它肯定打不过的西边那头狮子来寻它的晦气，竟定时向西边的狮子提供从东边羊群里精挑细选出来的肥羊，讨好从来吃不到活羊的狮子。东边的羊群只能在心中哀叹:“早知道这样，还不如要两头狮子。”


一道很多人人就总是做错的选择题

这是一道非常简单的选择题，据传，如果拿来问西方人，大多数人都会选对，但是如果拿来问我们华人，大多数人都会选错



为什么呢？这就是思想上的不一样了，我们华人相信命运被天安排好，仍不能跟天斗，可是西方人却不一样，他们相信人定胜天，这就是不同之处！！


命运其实掌握在我们手上的！！

Microecons midterm 2

Miroecons mid-term 2 is coming soon...I must get the highest mark no matter what!!!!! i can't believe that I want it so badly!!! have to be serious in preparing for it from now...

Overslept!

I late for my microecons midterm test because I overslept!!(i dun even heard anything when the alarm ringing and my friends call my hp and shout at me outside my windows!!!) I wonder if i fainted or really sleeping so "tightly". I late for half an hour ++!!! What the hell am I doing?! Luckily the invigilator allowed me to sit for the test but the answer sheet will be collected at the same time as other candidates.. Actually the exam start from 11am to 12:30pm, but I don't even have one hour time to finish all the questions since I late for 30 minutes++. Haiz..I lose 3% out of 20% for those questions that I can't finished.I know all the answers but I don't have enough time to do!!!! Haiz...Not sure I can get full marks for the other answers also.I think it's impossible for me to get 15% and above just because of the stupid mistake I made.Overslept!!!Shit!!Luckily this is mid-term test.I can't imagine what would happen to me if this is final exam...The 2nd microecons midterm test will be on week 8. I am not gonna oversleep anymore...I must do it better than this time!!!