Sunday, August 23, 2009
Uni life
I know my current state isn't what I expected....I know I am still not the one I expected..Everything is not as perfect as what I expected but I really appreciate everything in my life..I am satisfy with all the things that I have..I have to thank God for giving me all these so I can move forward to a better life...to be a better me.I strongly believe that everything is predestined but we can choose to change it..as long as we want it to be different...Everything that we born with couldn't be change but we can change our future by what we have..I am not gonna be defeated by obstacles....I am not gonna be defeated by reality..I am not that intelligent but I have alternative to get good result...I am not rich but I still can be rich in future..as long as I want it to be what I expected..There is so many friends around me...I shouldn't leave my University life a blank page.. I should enjoy University life with them..Many people say it's hard to get true friend in University..I am so lucky...God send so many friends to me in my University life. It's hard for me to get through the University life which possibly could be the hardest time in my life without friends. Friends, I admit I need their freindship...their help...need them to be my audience..I won't forget how good they treat me...how they accept me for who I am..I sincerely appreciate it...Year one sem one gonna end soon..We all really worry that we won't be in the same class anymore...We can choose the timetable for lecture class and tutorial class from next sem onwards....Anyway,I think our frindship wont fade away so easily eventhough we are not in the same class anymore but I really hope we still can be in the same class.... Luckily, we all cherish the time when we are together so there won't be any regrets..
Monday, August 17, 2009
我很傻，是不是？
你给的我的感觉，始终那么温暖。我发现，即使没见面，没通话，都无所谓。短短几封讯息，就能把我整天的烦恼一扫而空。只要是你说的话，就会一直在我脑海里浮现。你的身影，你的一举一动，是如此的清晰。我想，这就是思念吧。刚才在朋友家BBQ时，我根本不能专心，不时往你在的方向望去。霎那间，我觉得那个地方如果没有你，对我来说将只是个不会让我的视线停留的地方。就因为你，那里变得那么有意义，那么不一样，否则它将会和其他地方一样不起眼。你对我来说，是那么的特别，那么的重要。我一直认为，只有父母是最重要的，其他人就算失去也无所谓。但是，如果有人问我，爸爸和你同时跌进海里，而我只能救其中一个，我的选择是什么？这个问题让我哑然。我想我会救起我的爸爸，毕竟爸爸对我恩重如山，我不能置之不理。接着我一定会跳进海里，和你一起被淹死。如果，我不能救起你，我一定会内疚一辈子。我也永远不会快乐。想想，如果失去一个如此特别，一个让自己觉得温暖及安心的人，谁会快乐得起？当然，这不是最好的决定。因为，还有一个人会伤心，那就是我爸！话虽如此，但让他看到我一辈子不快乐，他应该也不会快乐吧？长痛不如短痛，我想这是最好的决定吧？当然，这些都不是重点。我不知道我们这段感情能维持多久，但我想让你知道，在我心里，你始终那么特别，一个让我觉得温暖，可靠的人。一个让我找到安心，平静的人。虽然，偶尔吵架，斗嘴，但这些都阻止不了想爱你的冲动，我依然能感觉到你的亲切，你的温暖。有时，会觉得自己很傻。总觉得在感情的方面特别依赖着你。我不想这样，却又改变不了。我总觉得这样会给你感情上的负担，我很怕有天你会负荷不了。我真的不知道这会不会成为你的负担，但我会很努力的学会做个在情感方面能独立的人。我不是没主见，不是没想法的人，但我真的不知道在爱情里的我为什么是那么的需要依赖着你。。和你在一起的日子，说长不长，说短不短。但在你面前，这些话总是那么的难以启齿。。我很傻，是不是？
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Marriage
Marriage-a meaningful story I cut and paste from e-mail...hope you like it too..
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
个人意见
今天，看了一部戏。感触很深，很深，有点伤感。。那种感觉就像深深埋在心底里的秘密不经意的被别人发现。有种被揭开久伤口的感觉。爱情，到底是怎么回事？我觉得爱情和婚姻是上帝给人类最美的礼物。有些人说，这两者是分开的。但我怎么看，都觉得爱情和婚姻根本就是连体婴。没有婚姻的爱情不完美，没有爱情的婚姻不和谐。很多人总喜欢用爱情和婚姻当作争权夺利或争取对自己有利的手段。我没有权力去批评别人，但就我而言，我真的真的无法接受这样的感情。感情，应该是纯洁，无暇的。就像父母对我们的爱，那么纯粹，那么无私。。从小，看着父母对我的照顾与疼爱，我能感受到他们彼此也是如此的相爱，所以他们才能给我那么完美的爱。从那时候，我就下定决心，我以后也要给我的另一半最纯粹的爱。很多人都说，这世界没有完美的爱。其实没错，毕竟这是不完美的世界。虽然没能力给予完美的爱，但我绝对相信每个人都有能力纯粹的爱一个人吧？其实，一份纯粹的爱就是完美的爱。如果两个人都能纯粹的爱着对方，那么他们的爱情就是纯洁，完美的。难道不是这样吗？
以上纯属个人意见，如有不满或异议，请留下你的意见。
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Like it that way...
Worry of something recently but I think it's nonsense. Yes..I admit I always think too much. I think it is quite normal for us to 'think too much'. Anything could change tomorrow, even next second. There is so many constraints and uncertainty in our life. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? I am too timid to tell you what am I worrying about. I always insists to be frank to you but how come I will be like that? Haiz..I scare wat Iam worrying will make you angry..I worry this will affect pur relationship..I want it still be the way we used to be..I used to it..I can't afford any changes..I know I can't...The biggest problem is I am not sure is it you like it too. When I have enough courage to talk to you about it. Surprisingly, you feel nothing wrong with it! Yes...finally feel relieve..I don't know is it this is your true answer or you know that I like to be like that..Anyway, I trust you..I think this is what you want too...I know you will never cheat me. Now, I clearly know I make the right choice. May be the best decision that I ever made. You are the one who can give me secureness and everything that I lack of in my life. I truely believe that God send you to me to give me what I need and what I don't have..Now only I know everything exists in this world with it's reason including weaknesses. I feel so sorry...haiz...You are always there when I need you but i realize that I can't even comfort you when you feel down and dissapointed. I tried to cheer you..but I think I fail..totally fail...I fail to do what I should do..Really sorry about it...haiz...why am I so noob? What can I do? I know you tried to hide your feeling..It's so obvious that you tried to hide it in order not to make me feel bad...but still..I am so useless to do anything to make you feel better.. Tell frankly, I think you will make it at the end...hope you won't think too much and make yourself so down...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Life
Haha..Finally, the last midterm paper QT 2 has finished yesterday...haha...happy that midterm over already....quite sad also because Final exam getting nearer and nearer...I heard my friend said the Final exam timetable release already but I am not going to see it 1st...haha..I think you know what am I thinking right? lol...Something weird happens recently... QT has becomes the easiest subject to me!!! Weird changes right? As you know, my maths poor like hell. It is impossible for me to say "QT is the most easiest subject". Oh, yes..we get microecons midterm 2 result already...glad to know it's better than midterm 1 but sad to know it's not as good as what I expected.
Jo An has been transfered to another college last week. She gives up Financial Economics in Utar and choose Law in other college. May be she make the right choice. She weak in maths and other business subjects but her english really excellent.....Glad that she can choose what she really want but sad to know that I can't learn english from her anymore..haha...Anyway, all the best to you, Jo An!
May be this is what we called life. Always full of surprise and disappointment..
Thursday, August 6, 2009
My friends & Me
Don't know how many days did not update my blog already..erm...may be really nothing to write...since i have nothing to say, I would like to share some picture with you all..haha...it's my first presentation this semester and it is also the first presentation of FE TG 1...haha..although we don't know the marks yet but we are quite satify with it...the most happy is my classmate say my performance is the best among my group members..haha
group members: sinyee, shuehlih, jessica, yeehong, and me..nice to be with them...
lol...this is our "good" leader...
group members: sinyee, shuehlih, jessica, yeehong, and me..nice to be with them...
lol...this is our "good" leader...
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