I need an aircon!

Shit! It's so hot here! Why Kampar's wheather so hot especially at night?! I can't even sleep well at night! I keep sweating like just came out from swimming pool when sleeping! Shit! Really angry! I didn't sleep well for many nights already! So tired! My temper become worse! A small matter can easily annoy me!Shit! I really dunno why the room fixed with aircon but the management not allow us to use! So funny! Got aircon but cannot use! They thought we won't feel hot by just looking at the stupid aircon?! I also don't know what's wrong with the stupid fan. It come out with hot wind only! Shit! I am so angry! Everything in Kampar like hell!!Shit Kampar!Hate Kampar more and more!

什么样的选择？什么样的人生？

站在十字路口的你会做怎样的选择？
在十字路口前的我，面对四条截然不同的路，我该往哪条前进？以下是我对四条路的分析及看法。
路A分析如下：它就像T字天桥，站在伸展台的模特儿会受到观众的瞩目，投来的会是羡慕的眼光。也许选择这条路才最实际，因为现在的社会钱不是万能，但没钱就万万不能。选择这条路的将会在名与利之间周旋，物质上的富足往往不能满足他们的虚荣心，他们勾心斗角为了得到更多，到最后连自己为了什么而忙都不知道。有时他们会觉得自己缺少了什么，但又不能具体地说出是什么。其实，他们少了心灵上的沟通及默契，因为物质的享受并不能弥补这心灵上的缺口。少了一个和你志趣相投的人，这一路将会走得很孤独，很寂寞。。
路B分析如下：它就像普通的道路，不论到什么地方都会看到它。这种路虽然平平无奇，但你每天都必须经过它。也许就是这种平凡，让你觉得有安全感。在这条路上有个让你觉得熟悉及心安的人和你同行，你会在他身上找到心灵上的契合，也就是这种默契让你们在生活上达成共识。一样的兴趣，一样的品味，将会造就一个不一样的生活。虽然生活不见得很富裕，但你们分享一切，这种肩并肩的生活形式让你找到精神上的依靠及心灵上的依归。平行线也许不会有交会的一天，但也就是因为如此，两条一致的线才能用永远平行。。。人未尝不是因为这样才能白头偕老呢？
路C分析如下：它就像高速公路，优点是能让你快速驾驶及不会堵车，缺点是随时被快速奔驰而来的车辆撞到粉身碎骨。它是你曾经走过的某条路，也许走回同样的路是最安全的，它有你熟悉的一切，你也已经习惯了它的种种包括优缺点。如果你想要得到快乐，你必须学会一厢情愿，因为让你幸福快乐的一切都是你一厢情愿的想法。你也许觉得很快乐，很幸福，但事实未必如此。你觉得快乐，是因为你一厢情愿的相信那路上还会有曾经让你觉得幸福的一切。事实上，那些全都已不存在，是回忆让你一厢情愿的认为曾经有过的一切又失而复得。在这种路上，要有随时被另一辆迎面而来的车辆撞得粉身碎骨的心理准备。
路D分析如下：完全是个未知数，没得分析，没得猜测。也许综合了以上三种，也许它什么也不是。
好贪心，我希望我能走综合了A，B，C的路。。我也希望走错路能够回头，但应该都只是能偶尔想想而已。现实就只能选一种，贪心又不知道自己要什么的我应该做何选择？

红豆。。

有时候选择留恋，并不为什么，而是已习惯。。。就像不舍得把臭臭丢了换新的抱枕，并没有什么理由，而是已习惯了。。习惯了抱着那臭臭的感觉。。习惯了它的味道。。。虽然它不是新的，也不见得是最好的，但就是令人不愿割舍。。。它就像忠实的听众，当你把它抱在怀里，就像无声的对它述说着你的点点滴滴。。。当你哭泣，它从不嫌弃你的眼泪。。。它一直默默地陪在你身边，静静地陪你度过无数个寂寞的夜晚。。

还没好好的感受
雪花绽放的气候
我们一起颤抖
会更明白什么是温柔
还没跟你牵着手
走过荒芜的沙丘
可能从此以后学会珍惜
天长和地久
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流


还没为你把红豆
熬成缠绵的伤口
然后一起分享
会更明白相思的哀愁
还没好好的感受
醒着亲吻的温柔
可能在我左右
你才追求孤独的自由
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流

这首歌是王菲的红豆，我很同意一切有尽头，世上的确是没什么是永垂不朽，即使是人与人的感情也不例外。。但有时候我宁愿选择留恋已逝去的感情。。。我不放手，不接受改变。。没有特殊理由。。。只因已习惯。。。

无奈。。。

为什么？为什么人生的路有那么多阻碍？难道人生的路就不能永远平顺没阻阻碍吗？我不想走也懒得走了。。。难道人生注定无奈？不无奈，没阻碍，没痛苦就不是人生了吗？厌倦的人能说放弃。。甚至是弃权不玩了吗？？？我有弃权的选择吗？？为什么就连选择的权利也没有？？哎。。有时候。。不是我不想。。只是没能力。。。没选择。。。这就是人生的无奈。。。我不能满足你的要求。。。更不能满足我自己。。。这就是人生该有的样子？

Honesty is the best policy?

Today's lecture class having an individual assignment. I wonder why it is called as individual assignment because at the last 15 minutes before we submit the answer having a discussion among assignment groups and we can check answers in lecture notes. Everyone must submit their answer sheet and the mark will be allocated to every members in the group for the correct answers.However, all group members' answers must be the same. Mark will not be given to every member in that group for their correct answers if one of the group member's answer is incorrect. The lecturer says that if one of the group member absent, no marks will be given to that group. One of my group member called N absent from the class and it's impossible to ask him to come on time because he is on the way from KL to Kampar. After discuss with another group member called S, we decide to tell our lecturer that N is absent. The lecturer told us that she will discuss with another lecturer about this matter. After S finished answer all the questions, he copy another set of answer for N. It seems like everything would be fine. But i think I am wrong. When I ask the lecturer whether she can give me one more copy of question paper(we must submit the answer sheet that attached with the question paper), I can tell from her expression that she is not willing to give it (I can understand this bacause this might cause her into trouble..haiz..). Then I asked her to give me the question paper again she replied me that she don't know (means that she will pretend don't know that we helped N do all those things). I am so grateful that she help us to cover all those things that we do. Not that I think it's right to do this or encourage others to do it, what we wanna do is trying to help our group member and may be we just wanna help ourselves. I know that it's wrong to do like that and it's considered as cheating. I wonder why I wil agree to help N (he asked me to help him because he knows he can't reach here on time and i agree to help him too)? I also wonder why I will do like that because it might cause our lecturer into trouble. Am I helping myself (because the lecturer said marks will not be given for that group if one of the member absent) or I am really wanna help my friend?Would I do all these for him if the lecturer did not say like that? Perhaps I will submit one more copy of answer sheet on his behalf secretly if the teacher did not say like that and I think I won't tell the lecturer that one of the group member is absent....What if I did not tell the lecturer that N is absent and submit one more copy of answer sheet on his behalf? Will the lecturer know that? I really confuse now...May be don't tell the lecturer is a better solution..I can copy one more answer for N but it's too late now...The lecturer send message to me and told me that every member in my group will be allocated mark besides N and ask me to inform him to see her during consultation hours.I feel guilty ...I agreed to help him but everything goes wrong ...What a awkward situation is it now?!
I agreed my friend, W to help him to apply motor sticker so he don't need to enter hostel area with a visitor pass and he don't need to stop at guard house waiting the guard to copy down his I/C at the night time.After filled up the application form and attached all the neccessary documents, I went to the office and submit it just now. That person in charge asked me for my father's handphone number. She wanna confirm it with my father because the motor is not register under my name or my parents' name. I cheat her that the motor is registered under my cousin's name and my cousin is from Ipoh (actually the motor is registered under W's name). I knew that I can't tell her my father's real handphone number so I tell her another friend, J's hanphone number.So, she dialled J's handphone number. Luckily, she can't get through J's number.Everything is ok but I can't answer her what is my motor plate number!!!Why am I so stupid?!In order make it real, I cheat her again! I told her that I havn't get my motor yet because my family havn't send it to me.Haiz...Then she asks me to go to apply again after I get my motor. I am really worry now...Haiz..What if she reveals me? Is it the management is going to blacklist my name? Will they call my parents?What should I do now? Should I continue to cheat the person in order to get the motor sticker or tell the person that my family is not going to send the motor to me because of some problems (Haiz...cheating again..)? How am i going to tell my friend? Should I tell him that I can't apply for him because of some procedure problems?
Haiz...Really confuse now....Why everything goes wrong? Honesty is the best policy.Is it true?

It hurts...

Will you go out with me if I don't have money?(I know this question means will I still go out with you if you don't have money to buy clothes for me!)
This question really annoyed me!! You thought that I go out with you just because of your money?! I admit that I am materialistic. I admit I am a shopaholic. However, I am not such a greedy person!When you ask me that question, I knew there is no trust between you and me...I can see our friendship is so fragile....4 years friendship...I am so disappointed in you. You doubt my personality! How can you do that?You say you love me and want me to be your gf yet you doubt my personality?!Don't you think it's ridiculous?What does friendship means?Do love really exists?
Another matter even more ridiculous!!!Someone said that he removed my messaging address from his msn contact list just because I told him that he keep disturbing me. He removed my contact so he won't disturb me and I still can send message to him! Don't you think it's ridiculous?I don't think that you will remove someone from your contact list just because you don't wanna disturb him or her!It's just an excuse! If you are not satisfy or angry with me because I have done something annoyed you, you can tell me directly or scold right in front of me. I know I don't have the right ask you not to delete my meassaging address from your contact list.However, I will definitely look down on you if you do that just because you are angry with me (I don't even know what did I do that annoyed you!!).
It's really sad to know that your friend do all those things to you. May be I am too naive. I trust my friends easily.I thought I treat them sincerely they will treat me like that too but everything proved I am wrong!!!I knew I've been a fool to trust everyone easily!!I am not going to trust anyone from now onwards!!I don't wanna get hurt anymore!!!


Once your heart get hurt, the wound will never be cured....

真正爱你的男人（第三篇）

真正爱你的男人，虽然嘴上说你小笨笨，可心里却巴不得把你抱在怀里，不再放手。 　　
真正爱你的男人，不管受到什么委屈，都不会告诉你，只想一个人默默的承担。 　　
真正爱你的男人，不管有什么开心事，第一个想到的总是你．只想看到你开心，不愿你有任何的不快．从来不会迟到，即使心力憔悴，也会准时出现，的只是不让你久等一分，生气一分，担心一分。
真正爱你的男人，心胸会很开阔，即使你把他惹生气了，也只会紧紧的抱着你，轻声的安慰你。
真正爱你的男人，即使你已气消，仍然会不顾一切的说好听的话来哄你。
真正爱你的男人，从来不强逼你陪他做他所喜爱的一切，而更心甘情愿的陪你做你所想做的一切，哪怕自己一点也不喜欢。
真正爱你的男人，总是催促你快去吃饭快睡觉，怕的只是你吃不饱睡不好。
真正爱你的男人，绝对不会做你不喜欢的事，他更加喜欢你在他身边规劝他，责骂他做错事。
真正爱你的男人，没有自己喜欢的游戏，只有你喜欢的游戏。 　　
真正爱你的男人，很清楚的明白没有你，也就没有了网络。
真正爱你的男人，总是想把你所喜欢的歌下载下来，总是想下载更多的歌，为的只想下次放给你听。
真正爱你的男人，不管你怎么挑剔，不管你怎么火爆，在他心里还是最爱你。
真正爱你的男人，会傻傻的保存的你短信，只为了感觉你的言语，感觉你的存在，感觉你的甜蜜，感觉你的心。
真正爱你的男人，会把你的相片放在手机里，为的只是每天醒来就看到你。
真正爱你的男人，只想把你做成他的桌面。
真正爱你的男人，哪怕只会一点点技能，也想为你做一个独一无二的程序，即使漏洞百出，也只想为了你开心。
真正爱你的男人，会悄悄的保存自己喜欢的东西，只因为你不喜欢。
真正爱你的男人，精神疲惫仍会和你视频，即使容貌难堪，也不顾形象，只因你想看他。 真正爱你的男人，当你为他骂人的时候，即使嘴上不喜欢你这样做，可心里却是甜滋滋的，感动无憾。
真正爱你的男人，即使认定自己正确，也只会放在心里，向你道歉。
真正爱你的男人，无论你想知道什么，无论你想问什么，都会毫无保留的告诉你。
真正爱你的男人，没有秘密。从来不会追问你不想说的事。会静静的听你说现在的一切，会爱怜的听你发牢骚，会温柔的开解你。
真正爱你的男人，会疯狂的看你推荐的电影，只为了你所看的，你所想的，只为了拉近心与心的距离。
真正爱你的男人，没收到你的短信，会空洞的看着黑板，看着老师。没收到你的回复，会忧心忡忡的担心你出事。没收到你的回复，会翻前覆后的检讨自己是否做错了什么。
真正爱你的男人，总是老不停歇的围绕在你身边，逗你说话，其实那是对你的关心。
真正爱你的男人，从不束缚你，只想你能自由自在的飞翔，只想你能幸福，哪怕他更希望那幸福是他所给的。
真正爱你的男人，会捧起艰涩难懂的书，会认真的吸收各种知识，会不可思议的爱上学习，只是为了能学到东西，只是为了有一天能把你养的白白胖胖，只是为了有一天有能力给你幸福。 真正爱你的男人，不需要你的理解，而只想理解你永远不会忘记你为他做的改变。会记得你学会炒第一道菜的兴奋。会深印你为他掉眼泪的那一刻。会憧憬着未来。永远不会看上别人，因为你早已占据了他的心。
真正爱你的男人，在你问他的爱不爱你的时候，即使口里说着山盟海誓，但心里却远觉不够。
真正爱你的男人，有时候会很笨，有时候会乱说话，只因他太爱你。会不知不觉的把自己的原则给忘记了。有一天突然发现自己变了。永远没有恨，只有爱。
那是因为 真的爱着你。