haha..so excited..

Haha..I am so happy! I can see you tomorrow!!So excited until cannot sleep..haha! 10pm now,normally I already dreaming about you at this time ..haha..but I am so excited until can't sleep today..Haha...I think I got a bit crazy now...Keep laughing...Swt..Anyway, can't wait to see you tomorrow..Miss you...I wonder how I get through this one whole week without you..Actually, it's quite torturing espcially there is something wrong with my handphone line and the internet connection. We hardly to have a good chat with each other via handphone and msn.Haha. Finally, I can see you tomorrow! Tomorrow!Haha.So happy...So happy that you say can see me everyday makes you feel happy..Haha.....See you...

不是我不够爱你，只是我不敢肯定，这爱，是不是最正确的。

很多人，因为寂寞而错爱了一人，但更多的人，因为错爱一人，而寂寞一生。我们可以彼此相爱，却注定了无法相守。不是我不够爱你，只是我不敢肯定，这爱，是不是最正确的。

看了这句话，我想起的第一个人就是你。我开始怀疑我和你的关系，是不是正确的。我跟你都还没开始，我们之间就已存在着那么多问题，这些问题是不是暗示我们并不适合对方。从最小的问题，我们不见面就没话题到更大的问题，并不是我们有心去解决就行的。既然我们还没在一起就发现这些问题的存在，我们是不是应该放弃更进一步的关系？如果我们勉强在一起，以后受的伤害是不是更大？

我真的不肯定我们现在的关系是否正确，我也不懂这样的感情是否对你我都好。我真的不想害自己，也拖累了你，成为你心里的负担。。。。有了前两次的经验，我变得超级懦弱，我变得害怕新的感情，我害怕再次受伤，我也害怕带给你麻烦。反正我都无法肯定这感情是否正确，我是不是应该放弃？放弃了，你我都不必兜了一大圈才发现错误。如果在一起后才发现我们根本不适合，是不是已太迟了？谁来告诉我我应该前进还是退后?

foundation result....

Just checked my result.This short semester I have only two subjects which is cost accounting and finance. Well, I get A- for cost accounting and B- for Finance. So the gpa for this semester is 3.2 and the cgpa for three semester in foundation is also 3.2.Don't know whether I should satisfy with it or not. The good thing is my cgpa is above 3 and I succeed completed my foundation programme without repeat or resit. The bad thing is I think that I can get better result and higher cgpa if I put more effort. others might think that cgpa is not important as long as you get 2 or above 2 so that you qualify to enter degree course. Yes, they are right, cgpa is not really important as long as it is 2 or above 2. It is important only if you want to apply for the scholarsip. To me, cgpa is important no matter you want to or don't want to apply for scholarship because it represents your effort and self-achievement. Well, I know that there is nothing I can do now even I feel unsatisfy with my result. So, next semester I should remind myself to put more effort in studying so I won't feel unsatisfy or regret when I know the result.

P/S: Special thanks to ken teach me and guide me when doing revision for finance...thanks for your moral support too..If not, I think I will get lower than B-....lol...Thanks to Jeremy keep nagging me to study if not I think I sure very lazy to do revision...lol

What's wrong with me?

I feel so tired! I don't know what's wrong with me...what's wrong with my body and what's wrong with my mind. I feel extremely not well. I thought exam is over and I can enjoy myself during sem break but I can't enjoy it at all. I don't have enough sleep. I try to sleep but I couldn't close my eyes when I lie on bed. Haiz.Nigtmare aroused me. I can't even sleep well when I fall asleep. Haiz. Dream a lot recently and I still remember clearly all the dreams when I wake up! I don't know what's wrong with my body. I feel so uncomfortable.Haiz. May be it signals that I will get sick soon but hopefully it is not. My appetite getting weird recently too. Haiz. I skip my breadfast and lunch and I eat a lot for dinner.After 2 or 3 hours, I feel hungry again. What's wrong?Anyway, I must control myself not to eat supper. I should not get hungry so easily since I eat so much for dinner and I did not do anything that have to used up so many energy, right? Something keep bothering me.I don't know exactly what is the problem. Haiz. Not to mention that how to make myself not to worry so much and find out a solution for it.Haiz.Can't do well in everything.Keep losing when playing xdo.Can't have a good chat with everyone.Haiz.Really no mood to do anything right now.Haiz..I think I better don't think so much.Just let it be and everything will be fine.Cheers...Sienzz..Still Moody...

Inferior

I always wonder why boys love me. My mind full of doubts whenever they say I love you to me. There is so many questions in my mind. Why me? Are you kidding? Am I good enough for you?Your parents can accept a girl like me?

Tell frankly, I am really inferior of myself. I am not as good as other girls. I realize that I am so lazy compared to other girls in my hostel. They wash their dirty clothes while I send my dirty clothes to laundry in the hostel. They do housekeeping for their room that I never ever think before. I am so lazy and it results in everything around me is so messy. I don't even know how to tidy up my room and my clothes. Seriously, I don't think messy will cause any trouble to me so I just let it be.Well, may be you think that I can change my laziness but you will know it's hard to change if you born with it. I try to tidy up my room and my clothes but it becomes messy after two or three days. I try to keep it neatly but it doesn't work! I tried so hard to make all the things neatly and tidy but seems like it is destined to be so messy unless I don't touch them. So, what else I can do? I wish that I am a hardworking girl so that I won't think that messy will not bring me any troubles and I will tidy up my room when neccessary. I won't make my clothes messy and think it looks good and convenient for me to look for my clothes when it's messy. I wonder why boys will say I love you to a girl who is so messy like me.

I don't have good characters that a typical good girl should have. Somemore, I am very hot temper and stubborn. My emotion change easily and I couldn't hide my feeling well.I will definitely show faces no matter how hard I try to hide it. So, I choose not to hide my feeling. I will throw tantrum to anyone whenever I am unhappy with something. Actually, I just want to express my feeling when I throw tantrum to someone and not mean to hurt her/his feeling.I really envy those who can hide their feeling and put smile face eventhough they are not satisfy with someone. I think this kind of people look like very fake because they put on a mask whenever they socialize with others. However, this kind of people have a lot of friends and everyone like to be friends with them compared to me. My speed of my emotional change and the way I express my true feeling make me offend a lot of people so I have only a few munber of friends.Of course, they won't tell me they don't like me nor my offensive words because they put on a mask. They will smile at you and act like there is nothing happen since they are so good in hiding their true feeling. I know I should change my attitude. The reality world is cruel and noone will like you for no reasons. They don't even care to know the real you. You will have a lot of friends if only you are willing to put on a mask. I think I should learn to be like them so I will get a lot of friends although I don't know why I want to have 'a lot of friends'. Well, back to the topic, a girl who is the centre of a group of friends or concern by everyone would be the favourite of boys. I am just a girl who have not much friends don't even have to relate me to the centre of everyone. I am just too far for that. A girl who is so emo and always throw tantrum make herself looks like so unreasonable. What makes boys fall for me since I am so unreasonable?

I have no talent, not pretty and I am not from a rich family. I am not as good as others from every aspect. Haiz..So, tell me how to make me believe that you really love me. I know that love is about the feeling. But the feeling can last for how long if I am not good in everything. 1 month? 1 years? One of my friend say that nowadays boys like to look for rich girl to be their gf, so the girl can help them in their career in future. Somemore, can make them proud bacause their gf is comes from rich family. I really stunned when I heard that. I feel sad that why the world is so realistic. I feel like it's hard for me to fit in this realistic world. I know clearly what's the difference of girl who have a rich family and poor family and I finally get what my friend means its better to having a rich gf. Girls from rich family can buy expensive and branded stuff which is high quality compare to cheap stuff. Girls from rich family have more talent compare to poor one because they have so much extra money for them to learn this learn that. Girls from rich family is much more nice looking than a girl from poor family because they can maintain their skin and their hair looks nice by using good product which is can't afford by a poor girl. I am not born with all of these...I guess all of you get what I mean right? I am really not that good and it's not weird that I doubt their love right?

I have to declare that I didn't blame my parents even though they are not rich. I can feel their love that I can never feel it from others. My parents love me unconditionally especially my father. I can't pay all the things that he has done for me no matter what I do for him.My father do everything for me more than his reposibilities for a daughter. I am really touch whenever he do like that. I am so shame that I don't even dare to say thank you to him although I really appreciate what he has done for me. Well, it's really hard for me to open my mouth to say thank you to him but I will definitely express my appreciation to him by action. I want to give him and my family the best thing just like he keep all the best things to me and my family. I remember that he says he and my mother love me more than they love my younger brother and sister. Yes, I strongly agree with him. I always think that I must have a bf who can treat me like the way my father treat me. As I said my parent not rich but my father can buy me a thing which might make him have no money to buy another thing that he wants. I strongly believe that he will get everything that I want by sacrifice himself including his life. However, I am big enough to know that many things that I want are out of my parent's ability. I won't request anything unreasonable from them and I am so ashame to ask them to give me this and that since they sacrifice a lot for me. They suffer a lot in life and suffer a lot to give me a better life, I hope I can graduate from U as soon as possible and let them have a better life. If can, I really wish that the one who have to suffer is me but not them....God, I know that You put my family in poor condition for us to experience it and learn to strive for life. I don't expect to have a easy life but I hope that I can give my parents comfortable life in future. I am too scare to lose them and I am too afraid that I have no enough time to do anything for them. God, please bless them to stay healthy so I can take care of them and give them comfortable life in future....Amen.

想你

从来没想过
没有你的日子
与我作伴的只是寂寞
没有你的笑声
围绕着我的只是孤单

我总是以为

没有你在身边

我可以过得很好

没有你的唠叨

我不会那么烦恼

我总是以为

你不在身边
我能够不想念你
我能选择洒脱
度过没你的日子

当我越想忘记你

你的脸庞越清晰

当我越想见到你

我却越来越思念

没你的日子
我细细品尝思念的苦涩

我只能够静静地等待着
见你的那天

男生要的...

01）你哭就是在威胁我。
02）我不会每秒都想着你，你要接受这个事实。
03）我见到漂亮的女孩一定会看，这是男人的天性。
04）我喜欢***，我是有性幻想的。
05）女孩子的胸部太大或胸罩太硬都很吓人。
06）我不说话不代表我不爱你。
07）你最好要有自己的目标和理想。
08）你穿什么都好看，真的（因为我未必会留意）。
09）不要老问我你漂不漂亮。
10）我对你用什么化妆品和护肤品没兴趣。
11）不要逼我涂润唇膏。
12）不要期待我会在上班或上课时打电话或者发短信给你。
13）很多时候回答Yes或No就够了，不必说太多。
14）不要回答我：＂我不知道，你决定好了！＂。
15）如果你天天都因为我而心情起伏不定，拜托你去看医生。
16）如果我说的话让你觉得是双关语，其中一个语意令你很伤心，其实我想表达的是另一个意思。
17）不要无病呻吟，你最好记取＂狼来了＂的教训。
18）你最好一开始就告诉我你要我帮你做什么，或者怎样可以做好，不要一边叫我帮你，一边教我该怎么做。
19）12岁以下的女孩才有权装可爱。
20）可以的话，麻烦你自己去换麦当劳的娃娃。
21）你的包包可不可以别再挂叮叮当当的饰物和布娃娃。
22）你可不可以不要跟我讨论电视剧和Hello Kitty。
23）拜托你不要叫我帮你拿包包。
24）不要批评我的兄弟朋友。
25）不要整天对我说＂我的朋友说……＂你的朋友关我什么事。
26）尽量不要把我们交往的细节毫无保留的告诉你的朋友，我也想有隐私权。
27）除了我，你还有其他的兴趣和嗜好吗？
28）有没有一样运动是你所擅长的？
29）你可以不会玩游戏，但你最好别阻止我玩游戏。
30）我不用减肥，所以不要阻止我吃垃圾食物。
31）不要要求我做道明寺。
32）温柔不等于依赖，你可以温柔，但不要太依赖我。
33）爽朗不等于没礼貌。
34）装模作样?不等于高贵。
35）没主见不等于尊重我。
36）别磨练我的耐性，迟到不等于很多人追你（你行情很好），所以我们约会你不要再迟到了。

37）你打扮得太夸张跟我去逛街，我会怕。
38）不要偷偷在我的文件或功课上贴可爱的贴纸。
39）虽然我不一定看得到，但你的内衣最好光鲜干净。
40）你最好不要天天做超过尺度的最时髦打扮。
41）除非必要，不用穿得太性感。
42）你是不是任何时候任何场合都需要化妆？
43）不要一天到晚说你要减肥。
44）不要在公共场合怪叫或大惊小怪。
45）不要查我的手机短信记录。
46）我也会有我合得来的女性朋友。
47）我不想知道你跟你前男友的事。
48）你最好也别想知道我和前女友的事。
49）我想说＂我爱你＂的时候我自然会说。


zzzz。。。。这就是男生想要的吗？？