友谊之手

今天，我和TG1朋友去金宝的瀑布。。哈哈。。这是我第一次去瀑布。。真的很佩服艺丰，用Saga 载了6个人还能顺利地把车开上又斜又弯曲的小路。另外，美玉的驾驶技术真的让我佩服，哈哈，她竟然驾没有power steering 的kancil上这种路，真的除了佩服还是佩服。。（我们怀疑她用她的小灵鹿以180km/hr的速度在高速公路飙车。。swt）我想，以我的驾驶技术，应该到不了那里吧。。哈哈。。

接下来令我傻眼的是，我们居然要用水路走上瀑布的最高处。。水路-我们能踏到的只有水，沙，和石头。一路上，我真的很害怕。第一，我没有去过瀑布也没走过这样的水路。第二，我很怕跌倒受伤，更怕失足跌入水里，因为我不会游泳。好啦，我承认我胆小啦！就因为我胆小，所以大家都很照顾我。这一路上，我真的不懂多少人牵我走过N个石头，哈哈！令我印象深刻的是，Young说他的手被我握到很痛（其他受害者的人数不详）。哈哈。。我想整个路上有四分之三的时间都在握着他的手。对不起，不是故意的。真的不好意思，不懂要怎样报答你。就这样，我们到了瀑布的最高处。水好冷，但你们对我的好，令我觉得温暖。

美中不足的是，Jake的情侣戒竟然不见了！就这样，我们真正的体会到了海底捞针的滋味。在遍寻不获的情况下，我们终于放弃。走回瀑布的下流时，我真的欲哭无泪。因为水是往下流，我们走下去的难度会更高。结果，艺丰竟然说看到我这样，他宁愿抱着我下去，这样会更快到下面。炸到！即使你有那种能力，我也不敢，免得我们两个一起跌死=='!结果，就像上来一样，很多人在我旁边握着我，告诉我应该踏着哪颗石头，应该怎样走。我没想到我居然能迟钝到需要大家告诉我应该先用哪只脚踏着石头！炸到了没有？！到最后一段路，真的崩溃了。结果就是，乙丰把我抱去我们该去的地方=='。

结果，我便成了他们取笑的对象，他们万万没想到精明能干的我竟会这样胆小=='...不过，我想他们已不是第一次看到我笨笨的样子了吧？！swt..令我意外的是，他们都个个经验丰富。。不过，还是很谢谢大家对我的照顾与指导。。哈哈。。。这次真的很难忘咯。。哈哈。。

Exhausted

Exhausted by overwork? I don't think so and I don't know why am I feeling exhausted. This makes me emo....zzz..I am seriously bad. Always bring this kind of bad mood to people around me.In fact, I not sure whether they affected by me. If yes, really sorry to them. I know you won't blame me right? I don't mean to feel down and emo...But..Haiz...Lazy to type it out....I think it will affect your mood when you are reading it. Anyway, it's not a big deal. I think I can handle it well. All I need is your moral support. It's glad to know that you are always by my side to cheer me up. Thanks to you, my friends.

Friends

I can feel my new classmates really wanna make friends with each other sincerely. I can sensethe sincerity among us. One of the definition of sincerity is freedom of hypocrisy. It's happy to know that I don't need to put on a mask in front of them. They don't need to do that either. I think I shall mix around with them more often.However, I still feel there is some distance between me and the class if compared to others in the class. I know it's my own problem. I am not that easy to open my heart to accept others or trust them. I used to be like that. It's not easy to open my heart to accept them suddenly. I need time.

I wonder is it that god hear my prayer and give me such a good chance to have more friends.
As we know, it's easy to have many friends but very difficult to have a true friend who can accept you for who you are. Therefore, you might have a lot of friends but don't even have one good friend or you might only have a few friends but all of them are your good friends who really understand you. Someone told me that friends is only for you to spend your free time. I am quite agree with it if you refer to normal friends.To me, true friends arenot only who you spend your free time with but they are willing to help you when you have difficulties. At least, they will lend you their ears when you need someone to listen to you. Btw, I should take initiative if i wish to have more friends, right?

Desperate

I hate socialization. To me, socialize with others really hard. Harder than maths. Harder than everything. I wonder why I can't do it well. Facing so many people everyday tires me. Really tired. Sometimes I would think that may be I am predestined to be alone in my life. May be I am not suitable to be a friend, a good friend, a good girlfriend or good family member. I should be deserted by everyone.

I don't know how others judge me. I don't really know they like me or hate me. It seems I can get along with them very well. It seems like everything is fine. It seems like I am the one being so sensitive. I hate myself care about it so much. I hate myself for being so sensitive. I shouldn't think about it. Everything will be fine. I should not worry about it.

I guess I am too desperate today....zzz

Friendship

While I am still at home preparing things to attend QT lecture class, one of my classmate asks me whether he need to book a seat for me in the class. Wow, so nice! You might think cheh, it is not a big deal or you might wonder why I am so happy. Haha. This is the 1st time someone ask me whether need to book a seat for me in the class since I enter this Uni. So, it is not unusual that I feel happy right? It is impossible that I can get the front seat if he did not book for me and I sure can't see the slides clearly on the board because we are not in DDK. Imagine that hundred++ students in the class and you sit at behind. I think you can see the board only if you are real tall. LOL.By the way, thanks to you , Young.

This makes me recall something happened last week. The management lecturer asked us to introduce ourselves. Once I finished introduced myself, one of my classmate say that he is from Johor too and he can fetch me back to hometown during sem break. Quite surprise because that is the 1st time I entered the class and he do not know me well yet he is willing to do like that. Of course, I did not say yes yet because I worry that he won't agree to share the petrol expenses.

After all, my new classmates seems like very nice and helpful. Haha. It seems like this will be a wonderful semester! Hope that our friendship can last long. Have a nice day!

Life

Eating alone. Studying alone. Listening songs alone. A peaceful day. Quite happy with it. Noone interupt me. I can do anything I like. I can do my things without any disturbance. I enjoy the silent environment. No noise. Good environment for me to study. The best thing is don't need to speak with anyone. It's good to be alone. I hate to face people. I hate crowded place. I like to be silent even when I be with friends. It's not that I don't know the way to express myself, not that I don't have my own opinion. It's simply because I like to keep words to my own. I rarely express myself in words in front of others and most probably I only express myself with facial expressions. A bad habit. I pull long my face whenever I feel unhappy. I should correct it as soon as possible.

Well. Back to the topic. I like to be alone but there is always many things come into my mind when i am alone. I looked into mirror after I finished bathing , I saw a dull face. Suddenly, I feel I am uglier than before. In fact, I never think that I am pretty but I really looks uglier today. I am not energetic anymore. I don't see my passion towards life. I feel so tired. Is it that I can't see my bright future? I keep thinking about my future these days. Did I choose the correct path of my life by entering this uni and pursuing this course?

Really confusing. Is this kind of life suits me? Or I have to change myself and try to fit in? I am not gifted. I am not talented in anything. Many people say that I have good fashion sense but what can I do with it? I can only choose nice clothes for myself. Besides doll up myself with clothes, what else can I do? I can't be a good fashion designer. I am not good in drawings. I am not born with it. I can't even learn it well. Not to say be a good fashion designer, I can't even be a normal fashion designer because I can't even draw! So, the main point is I can't use fashion sense to earn money. Some of them say I good in chinese language. I think about proceed to chinese studies in degree course. But it seems unrealistic to take this course due to the little chance to get a good job, somemore I don't wanna be a teacher. So, pursuing chinese studies in degree is impossible.

I remember my parents and teachers taught me to be a good girl and do well in exam then only I can succeed in my life. In fact, I think I still can't see my bright future even i try very hard to study and get an excellent result. I know that my result is not excellent but it is still can be considered as average and at least it is not bad compared to others. I knew I am smart enough to get better result. I knew that I am capable to do it well as long as I willing to put in more effort. I knew it. I am very sure I will get it as long as I try harder. But still, why don't I see my bright future is waiting for me? Is it true that I must change and try hard to fit in the situation? I must love what I have chosen, right? I know that I have the ability to solve any problems and survive in any bad situation. I always believe that there is nothing impossible for me. So, does it means that I can get through all these obstacles as long as I am willing to do so?

Feeling better after writing it out... At least those questions won't distract me during studying..Gotta go to continue studying now..

Demotivated

Another sem has been started. I am pursuing Bachelor in Financial Economics now. I am not sure if this is the right choice. I know it's too late to regret or whatsoever now. I think what I can do now is responsible for my choice. I think the course should not be a problem as long as I put effort on it right?

I am extremely distress eventhough it's 1st week of this sem. Feeling demotivated to do anything. I am so worry that I can't get good result in degree. I told myself that I must start studying from now. It is a must! If i wish to get good result, if i wish myself can at least be listed in Dean list, I must put a lot of effort in studying and not feeling demotivated to do anything just like what happen now.

Althought i feel demotivated to do anything, I still take out my notes and try to concentate on it. At least i tried it! I guess this is the only good thing in this week. At least I didn't waste my time on doing nothing. Swt...I know that I can't keep feeling demotivated but I am really disinterested in everything now! Can someone tell me what happen to me? Can anyone tell me what should I do to motivate myself?