Ah ma

My mama called me last Saturday. I feel weird when I saw her handphone number. My mama seldom call me. Call me is always my papa's job...Well..I know you guys feel weird because it's always mother's job to call their son or daughter...Anyway, it's not the point...My mama told me that my ah ma passed away last friday and her funeral will be on this Wednesday...I heard my mama's sad voice although she is trying to hide it...Although this week is study week, my mama tell me I no need to go back..I know she don't want this incident to affect me and also tiring me by traveling such a long journey to go back to my hometown...I don't know how to describe my feeling when I heard of this news..I feel sad at the moment but I don't cry...It's like I am so cold-blooded...I wanted to say I am not cold-blooded...I still have the feeling and I feel sad!!! It's my ah ma....and she is passed away now...I really feel sad whenever thinking of how good she treat my siblings and I. My mama always say that ah ma dotes my siblings and I the most among so many grandchild...yes...I feel it...I can tell from her actions..In fact, I am not very close with my ah ma and we seldom talk because I am not very good in the language but it's really sad to know she leave us forever..This is the first time I feel the sadness of losing kin...From this incident, I have learnt to appreciate the time when being with someone because you'll never know when would be the last time you see them..Now, I can't even attend her funeral..I don't know I have to miss how many more important family days just because I am studying at Kampar(haiz..just forget about it...useless to regret upon it anymore)..The last time I saw my ah ma is during Chinese New Year.Although she leave us forever, her image will stay in my heart forever..I don't have her photo but I can remember her well...Her style is totally different from my paternal grandma...my paternal grandma is like success businesswoman look, a strong woman...My ah ma symbolic a typical beautiful woman..She is old but I know she must be a very beautiful lady when she was young......I can tell from her small face,tiny mouth,thin body, gentle voice and fair skin...I always think that my mother and my maternal cousins' beauty is inherited from her(yes..I am the exception@@) Anyway,I would never forget how good she treat us when the time she is staying in my house to take care of my siblings and I. Although she is maternal grandma but i still called her as ah ma...many of my paternal relatives ask me to called her 外婆...because ah ma sounds like my father's mother...but it's ok to me and my ah ma don't mind it also...so I insists to called her ah ma...It's sad to know no chance to call her ah ma anymore...Rest in peace, ah ma...

Today isn't my birthday

Yes...today is not my birthday...my birthday is 10 Sepetember..I have received 2 gifts although my birthday will be on this thursday..one of the presents is from my friends and another one is from haha...secret...Actually my friend give me the present on last wednesday and they remind me to open it on my birthday but I opened it right after back to my room...haha...I am like a kid so impatient to wait till my birthday? I am quite moody last wednesady but you comfort me with your sincere friendship..thanks.. I like the bear bear photo frame...Another gift is from you...haha..Harry Potter series Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows...I already have six books of Harry Potter series.. you bought the last episode for me so I have all HP series books..haha... Thank you...Actually birthday presents is not the point,what I wanted to highlight is your sincere friendships and your love...I really appreciate it..I would never forget how you all console me whenever I feel sad..

我真的没事

对于这件事，说不再在乎，其实有点勉强。是的，我当然在乎，但至少不会在乎到非常严重的程度。顶多只是让我有点不开心罢了。其实，仔细想想过后，其实这样的结局还蛮好的。。呃。。也许连天都觉得不应该大材小用，把我放在这样的位置吧！既然连天都阻止了事情往不利于我的情况发展，我想我也不应该继续执著什么，对吧？事实上，没了这样东西，我相信命运中还是会安排另一样更好，更适合我的东西给我，所以我更加没资格去埋怨什么吧？毕竟，我不是没有努力过，努力付出了，但结果不是我想要的，因此我更加相信这会是命运给我最好的安排，下次我拥有的一定会是最好且令人羡慕的。。所以我更加不能放弃！我想我会是属于能做大事的类型，就因为这样，我有的是比别人更大的胸襟来承受更大的失败，比别人有更深一层的智慧。。。眼光也应该要比别人看得更远，更透彻。。。回头想想，这件事不过是我生命中的一小波折而已，比起其它大浪，这不过是朵小小浪花，冲击力也不过如此。所以，朋友，谢谢你们的关心，不要自责也不要担心，因为我真的没事。。。

道别孤单

渐渐熟络拉近彼此
简单关怀温暖彼此
我们相遇如此平凡
谁可曾想过会擦出
如此灿烂火花


因为有了你们
我向孤单道别
生命变得多彩
因为有了你们
我不需再徘徊
冷漠人群之中


我们曾用青春
唱出真诚微笑
我们曾用友谊
感动生命乐章
`

从不晓得友谊
如此珍贵难得
却在道别瞬间
闪烁不舍泪光


这份真心
让我们不再寂寞
这份友谊
让我们道别孤单


就算有天说再见
这份感情
将长存彼此心里
永不变质

P/S: this is for FETG1..friendship forever..^^

苦涩思念

作词: alisson

我站在阳台

静静地等待

夜幕的降临

也许这样才能

在夜的怀抱里沉睡

麻雀已归巢

只有我的心

盘旋在想你的天空

也许这样才能

往你在的方向飞去

想你很幸福

却始终抹不掉

其中的苦涩

我能不能不被

思念的海洋淹没

我能不能不在

没你的天空迷路

我的心盘旋

在想你的天空

也许这样才能

往你在的方向飞去

我能不能不被

思念的海洋淹没

我能不能不在

没你的天空迷路

想你很幸福

却始终抹不掉

其中的苦涩

我不要被

思念的海洋淹没

我不要在

没你的天空迷路

能不能让我忘了想你

能不能让我走出

苦涩思念

Just be yourself!

Haiz.....feel so tired..In fact, I didn't do anything except attended one tutorial class just now...sweat...Haiz....when I sit at cafeteria and in charge of the JCC recruitment drive that day..I feel so tiny when I saw so many people in front of me..I feel like wanna be somebody so everyone can pay attention on me...I don't wanna be nobody...Weird...Why most of the people wanna be somebody? Why don't I proud of who I am? Isn't I am so bad till me myself don't want to be the real myself? If I myself cannot recognise the importance of my existence in this world...Anyone else gonna do it? sometimes its good when people don't recognise you...so you don't have to feel stressed upon how people judge you...You have the freedom to do anything without worrying about how people will look at you..Those famous people cannot really do whatever they like because they care...they care about their image..how people look at them..I wonder why don't I enjoy the freedom to do anything I like since I am not famous and I won't be gossip by others..After all, I understood many things from it...Even you are just a normal person, you still can make your life different..you still can have a meaningful life...The most important is you are happy with your life.....and people happy with what you bring into their life and how you colour their life...Isn't this is how 'life' looks like? Thus,I should proud of who I am...I should proud of my identity that given by God.. I wanna be myself!!!I wanna be the one who truly understand the life!!

Uni life

I know my current state isn't what I expected....I know I am still not the one I expected..Everything is not as perfect as what I expected but I really appreciate everything in my life..I am satisfy with all the things that I have..I have to thank God for giving me all these so I can move forward to a better life...to be a better me.I strongly believe that everything is predestined but we can choose to change it..as long as we want it to be different...Everything that we born with couldn't be change but we can change our future by what we have..I am not gonna be defeated by obstacles....I am not gonna be defeated by reality..I am not that intelligent but I have alternative to get good result...I am not rich but I still can be rich in future..as long as I want it to be what I expected..There is so many friends around me...I shouldn't leave my University life a blank page.. I should enjoy University life with them..Many people say it's hard to get true friend in University..I am so lucky...God send so many friends to me in my University life. It's hard for me to get through the University life which possibly could be the hardest time in my life without friends. Friends, I admit I need their freindship...their help...need them to be my audience..I won't forget how good they treat me...how they accept me for who I am..I sincerely appreciate it...Year one sem one gonna end soon..We all really worry that we won't be in the same class anymore...We can choose the timetable for lecture class and tutorial class from next sem onwards....Anyway,I think our frindship wont fade away so easily eventhough we are not in the same class anymore but I really hope we still can be in the same class.... Luckily, we all cherish the time when we are together so there won't be any regrets..